Hi, and welcome to the forum!
First off, let me say that your questions are not stupid--I'm just glad you didn't let the pool store sell you a bunch of crap that you don't need. Also, let me suggest that you read everything you can on this site and also go to the sister site, Poolsolutions.com, and read through everything there. And if you have questions, please ask!
Once you get your chemicals balanced, it should help with the "ashy" feeling you get after swimming--I'd suspect that your pH is off, or you may have combined chlorine. If you would please run a set of tests with your drop-based kit (not strips!), and post numbers for Cl, pH, Alk, and CYA, we can better help you. Also, what form of chlorine are you using? Whether or not you'll have to add chlorine daily depends on your CYA level and some other variables.
The CYA is the stabilizer for the chlorine. The higher it is, the less chlorine you'll lose in a day to the sun, but the down side is that you also have to keep the minimum chlorine levels higher to compensate. It's kind of a trade-off, and different people have different opinions. Most here like to keep their stabilizer in the 20-40 range, and most have to add bleach (small amounts) daily. Others (me included) keep ours higher (mine's in the 80 range at this time) and only have to add bleach a couple of times a week, although in larger amounts. It all depends on how good you are about staying on top of your water, how much sun your pool gets, bather load, etc.
And the chemical levels are good for any type of pool, not just the larger ones.
While the pump/filtering sizing isn't my forte, I think that you'd be better off spending the extra money on an upgraded filter, rather than pump. I'm sure others will chime in here with better info on that subject, but I do know that AG pool filters are notorious about being undersized, which takes longer and doesn't do as efficient a job at filtering as the correctly sized ones.
Hope this helps....
Janet
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