I can't answer your question (which should I get?) directly, but I think I can provide some info.
I've experimented with different grades of sand, and I can tell you that all of the following are true:
1. Sand that is too fine causes problems, by getting caught in the grids in the laterals, by washing out during backwash, and by damaging valves down stream of the filter (filter side, and backwash side) by getting into stems.
This is the reason you MUST not use masonry sand. I have personally replaced over $2,000 worth of 8" commercial butterfly valves destroyed by masonry sand.
2. Coarse sand results in poor filtration. One of the large local pool stores in my own area decided to make more money by buying 100# bags of sandblast sand and selling them for filter sand. The sand blast sand was actually more evenly graded than most of the filter sands I've seen, but it was also a bit coarser. Over the years, I removed it from a half-dozen large commercial filters, and replaced it with proper filter sand. Every pool experienced a substantial improvement in water quality as a result.
3. Not all filter sand is created equal. "No. 20 standard silica (uniformity coefficient not greater than 1.75) .018-.020 in diameter particle size" (as specified by Pentair) doesn't necessarily compare well to what's sold: "QUIKRETEŽ Filter Sand has a predominant size range as follows: US Sieve Size 20-40 - Particle size (0.85-0.425 mm)" (0.85 - 0.425mm => 0.33 - 0.167 inches!) As you can see, the Quikrete sand is much coarser than what Pentair specifies!
3. Fine sand produces better results. A number of years ago, I bought several hundred pounds of a fine grade of sand blast sand, that was finer than filter sand, but much more uniform than masonry sand. I placed a 4" layer of this sand in each of a battery of TR160 (36") filters, and then covered it with an 8" layer of regular filter sand. Water quality went from clear (30' under water visbility) to very, very clear (80' underwater visibility. But I did have some damage to the multiport valves over time.
Just reading over this -- it's probably less useful to you than I would have hoped, but it's what I've got. Sorry!
ref: http://www.lancasterpump.com/documents/filtersand.pdf
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mesh_%28scale%29
http://www.pentairpool.com/pdfs/TritonIIOM.pdf
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