So here's the background: I have a 40x20 equivalent inground pool in central NJ. It has a 10x10 spa attached to it that spills over. We bought this home last fall and the pool was open for a couple weeks. In that time I learned a great deal, most of which was the previous owner didn't take care of it. The heater is non-functioning, the valves all have their handles broken and are plumbed in such a way that makes the spa very laborious to turn on. The filter is DE but something is wrong with the grids because it was spewing DE into the pool.

So we want to makeover the equipment. I called the guy who had done work on it in the past. By the end of the conversation he was talking about a fully automated system install. I don't mind spending money if something is worth it, but I don't really know what's worth it.

Our previous home had a similar sized pool that we kept acceptably warm for the time we used it with a solar cover. We switched to salt-water on it and loved it. But otherwise it was very no-frills. The sand filter it had was very low maintenance and was perfectly acceptable for water cleanliness.

So here's what we're looking to do and what we were quoted:

MUST HAVES:
-Change filter over to sand because it's my preference (389 filter + 66 sand + 145 labor = $600)
-Salt System (Hayward aquarite $1499 installed, salt is $180)

OPTIONAL:
-Replace valves and replumb to make vacuuming & spa easier ($300)
-Heater for spa (Hayward H250 $1900 + $145 labor = $2045)
-Automation system: Hayward/Goldline AquaPlus with remote & actuators ($2795 Price was quoted with Salt System included, but difference amounts to $1300)

The automation would integrate the pump/filter, the heater, the salt system and electronic actuation of the valves for switching the spa on or switching ports for vacuuming all of which is handled via remotr. I've never had a spa or heater or automation system in the past. The heater would really only be used when the spa is in use as we're happy to keep things warm with a solar cover.

So I guess the first question is, am I getting ripped off on these quotes?
The second is, is this worth it or am I asking for trouble adding all of this stuff in? My wife thinks I'm crazy not to do it with her argument being what good is the spa if there's no heater and it's a pain to get bubble action going. I see that side of it but I don't want this pool to turn into a money pit with repairs down the line either.

Thanks for all the advice and opinions, I welcome it all!