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[ Hmm-mh. Mark and I cross posted. He's being more patient about this than I am. ]
You are seriously over-thinking this.
Your assumption that that there is a precise optimal point of operation for your pool and all the equipment is incorrect. Pursuing that mythical optimal point will consume a great deal of time and effort, with very little benefit.
The BBB approach to pool chemistry and operation is strictly a "good-enough" approach; I've long referred to the pursuit of optimal chemistry as "chasing the numbers". That could just as well refer to your request.
In theory, one could describe a rational basis for optimizing pool operation in the manner you are seeking; in practice, there are too many uncertainties to do so in a genuinely meaningful way.
Just to take one example: you want to know "optimum" flow rates for your DE filter. But, you don't say optimum to what end. Minimum energy use? Maximum filter cycle life? Minimum DE consumption? Maximum water clarity? Or something else?=> Precisely determining the minimum energy use would require an engineering study of the non-linear relation between watts consumed and gallons moved for your pump; hydraulic analysis of your unique piping arrangement, including any on/off cycles of your solar system, and a field study of actual dirt loads on the water in your pool. Incidentally, most of the West Coast pool solar heating systems I've seen are energy pigs, due to the great increase in pump effluent pressure required to circulate water through a sub-optimally designed solar loop.And so on . . .
=> Maximum filter cycle runs would, among other things, require arranging your system so the pump was never shut off during a run: few DE filters can redistribute the DE "optimally" after the initial pre-coat!
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