thequietwon, it is my pleasure to help the folks here when I can!

Yes, apply the mortar to the beam while the epoxy is still 'setting'/ wet (it will actually be longer than 10 min that the painted on epoxy takes to set up), One of the 'problems" you will have is that you don't have straight walls, so you'll be doing a LOT of stone cutting - do it by sections, pre cut the stone and only apply the epoxy and mortar in managable areas (DO be sure to measure 3X before doing any cuts - esp. if you go with the blue stone and only have just enough to do the pool!!) I would have suggested a 'canalever, stamped' deck, but I've never seen a lake with a concrete deck and you want a 'natural look' I hope that you are a competant mason, this will be a ~difficult job. (I'm thinking that you will have to do a LOT of cutting to get the coping to follow the curves of your pool, a little chiseling of the cut edges will make the stone 'more natural looking')

As for type of morter and additives, I honestly don't know - I'm not a mason. What I've used in the past is a ~50-50 mix white cement and marble dust (for the precast coping on crete pools) and the same mix for the grout. I would trust the folks you're getting the stone from. If the color of the morter is not what you'd want for the grout/ final (visible) finnish, use something that would look better (sorry, no clue as to what would be best , perhaps some of the 'crete pool' pros will have an idea)

As for a 1.5" overhang, I'd take it back to ~1", that's a fairly large lip and not only will hinder liner placement/ replacement, but could be a 'toe catcher' for folks not using the ladder or steps. Also, the more of the stone (%) secured to the wall/ deck, the less chance of it 'popping off" and into the pool - the liner will not forgive a large stone being dropped on it!

For the rebar connecting to the deck, I think it's a very good idea (esp. if that rebar is bonded to the pool)! However, I feel you should still have the expansion joint between the coping and deck (as I said before, having one of those stones 'pop off' and end up in the pool will suck!), caulk covered backerrod may not be as 'natural' as you want, but a little sand sprinkled onto the wet caulk can help it look more natural.

Please don't appologise for your questions! - How can you get the info you need if you don't ask? The wonderful thing about this forum is that there are a bunch of people here that are willing to answer pool owners questions (or at least give their best opinion/ experience) and help as they can. I'm sorry (!) that your other ?s got 'lost in the shuffle', but if you start your own thread with a question (like you did here), people are more likely to see it and respond.

Again, I welcome you to the forum!! You are doing the best thing by comming here to ask your questions and learn about your new pool. I'm sure you'll be a hero to your family this summer when they have a beautiful pool to enjoy (and the envy of your neighbors )!!!

If you need any more help/ clarification - just ask