I think that if you want a step - you should do a 8"-9" step - halfway to the bench.
I agree with your pool builder that you should not have a step at the bottom - I do not know the size of the spa - but if I added a step from the bench to the "bottom" then there wouldn't be any room for your feet. Also - you will be sitting on the bench - so getting up shouldn't be an issue - unless your DW has difficulty getting up from a couch/chair too.
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