How do you handle friends who... turn out to be pool moochers

[Phillbo]

When I invite guest over I don't expect them to bring anything. I know what everyone drinks and make sure to have it on hand.

Same when I invite friends out on my boat.

[Themadczar]

I think this comes down to effective communication and setting clear boundaries... Not exactly skills with which most of us are very comfortable. We were very clear to friends and family that our home/pool were not an "open door". While we want to share and be hospitable, we also value our privacy and family-time. Furthermore, we told everyone that we could not afford to feed everyone and provide drinks all the time. We said that we expect everyone to pack food/snacks/drinks or bring something to share. So far we have had very few if any problems in this area. Setting expectations up front is key IMHO.
I think if we did have a problem I might send an email to "all our friends and family" explaining how costly it has become to provide food/drinks for everyone and what the expectations are going forward. I would put my own email address in the "To" field and all of the "offenders'" email addresses in the "bcc" field (even if there is only one person/family that I send it to, they won't know that. It will appear that it was sent to many people.)

[Pappy]

We go to a "potluck" get-together every couple of months. The host couple always tells newbees
1. Drinks are NOT part of the potluck fare, so BYO.
2. Bring at least enough to feed yourself. This doesn't mean you have to bring whole meal, but enough (chips, green bean casserole, pickled pig's feet) that you could trade a little of yours for a little of what others brought so you'd have a whole meal. Alternatively - if you want to just show up for the social stimulation and wish to not partake, feel free to come empty-handed.

Maybe you could modify that thought for your friends.

Good luck!

Pappy

[DennisP]

Yeah it is bad when the "cheap" friends start taking advantage... I have zero problem "helping" those that are truly "broke", but far too many times you take pity on those people just to find they are just stingy and greedy and wouldn't help anyone else, yet take advantage of everyone else when they themselves could do more. Had one "acquaintance" do that, just stop by (without being invited, his friends were, but not him), flop down, take advantage of the hospitality in food/drink/good times, yet never bring something to pass, no booze, etc... Hit a "sore spot" when he showed up once, with a take-out pizza and a cooler for himself and didn't offer anyone else anything. AT MY HOUSE!!! Again, totally uninvited, a ton of people over, etc... I had people asking me "what is HIS PROBLEM???" since it would so out of place. Kicker is, I just thought he was down on his luck, in a low-paying job, couldn't rub two nickels together... Till I found out about 8 months later that he BUYS A HOUSE!!! With like 40% down on it!!!

Yeah, he was just being a greedy stingy scumbag. I was really pissed since I would always "take care of him" in regards to buying drinks while out, etc, etc... Hell, he is the ONLY person I have ever known who didn't even have a house warming party after he bought the place. Yet he shows up to everyone else places when they have one... Sad, just really, really sad...

For most I could care less what they eat/drink since when I am at their homes it is the same way... But, yeah, it sucks when you get some leeches coming around to try to sponge off you all the time...

[LuvTheBeach]

I finally said something...hopefully it will be better now...

[PoolDoc]

This is an interesting topic that's relevant to many, many pool owners. But it's not something about which I have any expertise to offer.

However, I have edited the title to enable others to find it, and comment on it more easily.

. . . if you have an idea for a better (more descriptive, more searchable by Google) title, please let me know.

[CarlD]

My recently deceased mother used to say:"If you let yourself be a doormat, people WILL wipe their feet on you." IOW, you cannot be taken advantage of unless you let yourself be taken advantage of.

They sound like a couple of characters out of a Jane Austen novel!

Don't invite the moochers. If they show up uninvited, say "Sorry, we already have company" or "Sorry, but we have something to take care of that's a family matter."