I think this comes down to effective communication and setting clear boundaries... Not exactly skills with which most of us are very comfortable. We were very clear to friends and family that our home/pool were not an "open door". While we want to share and be hospitable, we also value our privacy and family-time. Furthermore, we told everyone that we could not afford to feed everyone and provide drinks all the time. We said that we expect everyone to pack food/snacks/drinks or bring something to share. So far we have had very few if any problems in this area. Setting expectations up front is key IMHO.
I think if we did have a problem I might send an email to "all our friends and family" explaining how costly it has become to provide food/drinks for everyone and what the expectations are going forward. I would put my own email address in the "To" field and all of the "offenders'" email addresses in the "bcc" field (even if there is only one person/family that I send it to, they won't know that. It will appear that it was sent to many people.)
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