John,
For #2, there is a device called a separation tank. They are actually required were I live for sand and DE filters. The sole purpose of these devices is to reclaim backwashed water. They have an internal screen/filter which removes the dirt/DE from the backwash and returns the water to the pool. Here is an example of one:
http://www.cheappoolproducts.com/Sep...3~product.html
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