No reason to change sand unless it's been gummed up by baquacil or some nasty growth that can't be bleached away. I believe most of the mods here are on decade + sand.

Removing the sand does seem like a big job and I've never done it myself so I haven't any tips, perhaps someone else does.

This is just my general skepticism but... The pool company that is advising you that removing the sand will break the laterals: Do they want to sell you a new filter? Did they install the filter 13 years ago and may be aware that the laterals have been broken since it was installed? The Hayward manual suggests filling the filter halfway with water before adding sand to avoid damaging the laterals - perhaps this wasn't done at installation.