Congratulations, I somehow got an email notification that you had posted in this thread.

We ended up tearing out all the concrete & coping, and replacing it with stamped, stained concrete. We were able to do this by using what's called a liner track - it's a piece that screws directly into the pool wall, and holds the liner in place. A couple links I found about it from a quick google (I'm sure you can find more, if you want):
http://www.legendaryescapes.com/reso...r-vinyl-pools/ (about halfway down)
http://poolsbycardinal.net/sidemount-mps-track-smt.php
http://www.michpool.com/coping-liner-track/ (the VM models)

We're extremely happy with the way it looks, and if we had to do it again, we'd go the same route (note: free flagstone was no longer an option by the time we started this). I do feel much better about a solid deck, though, and not having to worry about stones coming loose, pulling up, etc.

So yeah, with the liner track, anything is possible. The pool company installed it, the ladder & diving board mounts (including the ground wires to the pool), and the skimmer. The concrete guys did the rest (or at this point, you could do stone, etc., following waste's information above). When it was all done, we just attached the ladders and diving board, and we were good to go.

Again, I'm not an expert - this is just what worked for us. If somebody who knows more tells you differently, take their word over mine.