3 Bids, Whats best? Is Automation, Robot Worth it...?

Okay, I have 3 good bids for pool. They all have good reviews, etc. For a family of 3, including a 3 year old. I want to get the best for her...and her friends. We want to be the hangout place.

But not sure what vinyl pool to get. First note, this is a simple set up, no sun decks, jets, spas or fancy decking. 35k budget and need a fence.
ALL POOLS WITH AROUND 1000' of decking.

First
17x33.5 4-5-4' sport pool from big locally own company with store front.
3 deck jets,
2 Color Splash® XG Series LED lights,
Reliant SWG.
Quad filter,
Energy efficient Pump,
ALL AUTOMATED
1K Dolphin robotic cleaner
...but they are nickle and diming me on installing. $500 Extra for pump truck, $700 extra to spread dirt, $600 extra to make a 4-5-4 pool. Electric not included
Total Around $30,600.

Second
20' x 35' grecian 4-5-4 sport,
Hayward DE filter
Hayward Prologic 4.0 LED,
Hayward SWG,
Hayward Tri-Star pump
Electricity included
No Automation
and extra $450 per deck jet.
No "extra" on install, One standard price.
No cleaner. $31K without deck jets. $32,500 with

Last
18 x 36 4-5-4 sport,
Sand Filter,
Hayward SWG,
Prologic LED Light,
NO Automation,
Electric included,
Hayward Tri-Star pump
no extra install
NO Cleaner
Deck jets $350 each.
$30k.

This is eating at me...what would you do? I can fit ALL the pools in back yard with a fence that will cost me about 2K.
Is Automation worth it?
I know NOTHING about pools, so the easier the better.
Is a bigger pool worth it?
I have trees close by, should I get the robotic cleaner now, but smaller pool?

Losing Sleep!

HELP.